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  • How Can You Be Grateful After Loss?

    Last week I was on my way to pick up a pizza… my favorite, with Canadian bacon, tomatoes, spinach, black olives, garlic, and CRISPY. I was starving and, as always, in a hurry. I sat at a stoplight, fifth in line, behind a white Ford Focus. The lady had her window down and her left…

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  • advice for speaking to the bereaved. picture of woman dressed in cozy clothes staring out the window.

    From ‘Oh crap’ to Connection: 5 Tips for Compassionately Navigating a Conversation Bomb (someone says the ‘D’ word)

    Ever had one of these “Oh crap” moments? You sit, innocently watching Joseph’s soccer game and Kaitlyn’s mom says, casually as if not dropping a conversational bomb, “I wasn’t here last week because my mom died.” “Oh crap.” You’re not alone… most people bungle conversations like this because they’re not prepared, having no information or meaningful…

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  • The Truth About My Epic Attempt to Control Grief

    The Truth About My Epic Attempt to Control Grief

    Back when I worked in a cubicle (circa 1993), there was a bullet-shaped, mahogany particleboard desk dividing the space between me and my cubemate Mike. Mike was a good guy but he was LOUD. He frequently put headphones on and jammed out to his tunes, pounding on the desk like the drummer for Def Leppard,…

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  • Please Stop Saying “Call me if you need anything” (and what to DO instead)

    Please Stop Saying “Call me if you need anything” (and what to DO instead)

    There’s one phrase every grieving person hears. It sounds kind. Supportive. Thoughtful, even. But it’s actually one of the most unhelpful things you can say: “Call me if you need anything.” Here’s why that sentence, however well-meaning, is a complete miss. And what to do instead. Why Grievers Don’t Call There’s almost zero chance we’re…

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  • woman with arms lifted celebrating post traumatic growth

    Post Traumatic GROWTH – Real or Rubbish?

    “We don’t learn and grow from things that are easy. We learn and grow from things that are hard.” This is something I find myself saying to clients often. Sometimes it lands well. Other times not so much. Author and speaker, Jeffery Olsen, muses about self-growth after loss in relation to his wife and son’s…

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  • adorable dog who taught me a lesson about my obnoxious independence

    An Eye-Opening Lesson from My Dog about Obnoxious Independence

    It all started when my dog chewed a golf-ball size hole in the living room rug. It’s hard to believe this little guy could do something so dastardly right? Look at him.  I covered the hole with the heaviest book handy, The Action Bible, to keep him from making it bigger. Everyone in the family stepped…

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  • It’s Time For Your Medicine – My Treat

    It’s Time For Your Medicine – My Treat

    A Near Miss The other night I was reading in bed, feeling hungry, despite having already indulged in Skinny Girl popcorn AND Choc Zero chocolate bark. So I got up to get some leftover pizza. First, I pulled off the pepperoni (the kids like it but it’s too greasy for my taste). Then I popped…

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  • My Dad Gave Me the Best Gift – After He Died

    My Dad Gave Me the Best Gift – After He Died

    My dad died on my 46th birthday. You might think this would be traumatic or highly emotional or even a big bummer. But it was none of these things. From the outside looking in, you would think I didn’t care. He and I weren’t close … I grew up thinking he liked my sisters better…

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  • 2 arms linked together responding to the call of "I need help"

    Hard Things Are Inevitable, Doing Them Alone is Optional

    Hard Things Are Inevitable So Get Comfortable Saying “I Need Help” Somehow I missed the fact that my daughter had turned YELLOW. She’d been deathly pale (from what we thought was a stomach bug) for a few days so when her color started to change, I thought that was a sign of improvement. But after…

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  • Try these Resources to Improve your Health and Daily Habits

    Try these Resources to Improve your Health and Daily Habits

    Today I want to share some of my go-to resources for learning, growing, and living a fulfilling life. Some of these are grief/loss specific and some are just life in general.  BOOKS PODCAST Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast : “Helping you live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow.”Don’t let the word “leadership”…

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  • The Truth about the Five Stages of Grief – They Fit No One’s Actual Experience

    The Truth about the Five Stages of Grief – They Fit No One’s Actual Experience

    The World Wants a Timeline for Your Pain “How long until you feel better?” my sister asked, two months after my son Jackson died. She wanted to prepare herself, to know what to expect, and when to be concerned if I wasn’t “making enough progress.” My therapist gave a long, clinical answer, but in short: I…

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  • How One Hug Changed My Understanding of Loss

    How One Hug Changed My Understanding of Loss

    A Wordless Message One day, about a month after I’d returned to work after my son’s death, long after the initial sorrowful days of hugs and tears, the owner’s mom Ruth stopped by. I hadn’t seen her in a long time … probably a year. So I was surprised when, the minute I came around…

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Nothing can undo what happened… but you can stop drowning in “Why?”

WHY God? Why me? Why did you let this happen?

This free 6-part email series offers honest, research-backed insight into God’s real role in pain and suffering… actual answers, not the platitudes and cliches you’ve heard too many times.

I know answers can’t change what happened. But they can quiet the relentless churning in your mind. They can also remind you: you’re not alone, and you’re not grieving wrong.

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