Ever had one of these “Oh crap” moments? You sit, innocently watching Joseph’s soccer game and Kaitlyn’s mom says, casually as if not dropping a conversational bomb, “I wasn’t here last week because my mom died.” “Oh crap.” You’re not alone… most people bungle conversations like this because they’re not prepared, having no information or meaningful…
Back when I worked in a cubicle (circa 1993), there was a bullet-shaped, mahogany particleboard desk dividing the space between me and my cubemate Mike. Mike was a good guy but he was LOUD. He frequently put headphones on and jammed out to his tunes, pounding on the desk like the drummer for Def Leppard,…
There’s one phrase every grieving person hears.It sounds kind. Supportive. Thoughtful, even.But it’s not.It’s actually one of the most useless things you can say: “Call me if you need anything.” Here’s why that sentence, however well-meaning, is a complete miss. And what to do instead. 🚫 Why Grievers Don’t Call Let’s break this down. There’s…
“We don’t learn and grow from things that are easy. We learn and grow from things that are hard.” This is something I find myself saying to clients often. Sometimes it lands well. Other times not so much. Author and speaker, Jeffery Olsen, muses about self-growth after loss in relation to his wife and son’s…
It all started when my dog chewed a golf-ball size hole in the living room rug. It’s hard to believe this little guy could do something so dastardly right? Look at him. I covered the hole with the heaviest book handy, The Action Bible, to keep him from making it bigger. Everyone in the family stepped…
A Near Miss The other night I was reading in bed, feeling hungry, despite having already indulged in Skinny Girl popcorn AND Choc Zero chocolate bark. So I got up to get some leftover pizza. First, I pulled off the pepperoni (the kids like it but it’s too greasy for my taste). Then I popped…
My dad died on my 46th birthday. You might think this would be traumatic or highly emotional or even a big bummer. But it was none of these things. From the outside looking in, you would think I didn’t care. He and I weren’t close … I grew up thinking he liked my sisters better…
Hard Things Are Inevitable So Get Comfortable Saying “I Need Help” Somehow I missed the fact that my daughter had turned YELLOW. She’d been deathly pale (from what we thought was a stomach bug) for a few days so when her color started to change, I thought that was a sign of improvement. But after…
Today I want to share some of my go-to resources for learning, growing, and living a fulfilling life. Some of these are grief/loss specific and some are just life in general. BOOKS PODCAST Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast : “Helping you live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow.”Don’t let the word “leadership”…
The World Wants a Timeline for Your Pain “How long until you feel better?” my sister asked, two months after my son Jackson died. She wanted to prepare herself—to know what to expect, and when to be concerned if I wasn’t “making enough progress.” My therapist gave a long, clinical answer, but in short: I might…
A Wordless Message One day, about a month after I’d returned to work after my son’s death, long after the initial sorrowful days of hugs and tears, the owner’s mom Ruth stopped by. I hadn’t seen her in a long time … probably a year. So I was surprised when, the minute I came around…
The day my son died, I fed him his early morning feeding at 5:30am and he went back to sleep. I was transitioning back to full-time at work so I had to wake him up at 7:30am and “top him off” before leaving to go to the sitter’s house. Since he had eaten at 5:30am…
